A Hands-Off Approach Isn't What We Want

I was recently sitting down with a group of youth workers for our monthly Youth Ministry Fellowship. Every month we get together to discuss what's happening in our ministries and to encourage one another as we all press on towards the goal of developing our students into whole hearted followers of Jesus. We always begin every month with a different question for us all to ponder and answer, so we get the ball of discussion rolling. The question was "when was a time you screwed up, but were shown grace from your senior pastor?" Great question and it brought about a lot of really good answers, as well as a time of recognizing how thankful we all were for our bosses.

Yet, there were a number of times when the youth pastor started their response with "you know, my senior pastor has a really hands-off approach, so I have to think about this one." I came to discover after listening to them talk, this whole "hands-off approach" wasn't what they wanted. On the surface they seemed okay with it, making light of it as if it wasn't a big deal. But I realized they were actually longing for a deeper relationship with their senior pastor. "Hands-off approach" was actually code for "no real relationship." They couldn't think of a time when they were shown grace, not because they hadn't screwed up, but because they never really got time with their senior pastor for him to show them grace.

It was an interesting morning. I think many times senior pastors think youth workers love the freedom of the "hands-off approach," so they don't interfere. Truth is, what we're really longing for is direction, mentoring, and input. Yes, it's true, we all want freedom. No one like a micro-manager. But youth workers long to have a significant relationship with their senior pastor so they can learn and always improve. It's the truth. Plain and simple.