In Memory of Dan Stenson

Dan Stenson, a great man and the trip leader for my current trip from Grace Arizona in Tempe, AZ, died a month ago from a sudden stroke. It has sent huge ripples through that community as they are learning to cope with the loss of such an amazing man and developer. On Monday, I sat by myself and wrote these words as I was thinking about the impact Dan has left on this world.

I sit here in Fraijanes, alongside a group of 16 teens and young adults. I am perplexed as I ponder the life I have lived so far, the impact I have had on this planet. Have I been a man of change and aciton, or a man who has simply watched his days go by him? Will the imprint I leave on others lives last or will it fade as a footprint in sand is washed away by the waves? 16 young hearts surround me, all grieving and in pain. A great man has died, and I feel I am not worhty to carry his sandles, let along take his place. Dan lived a life valiently as a man of action. His legacy is alive in the smiles on faces, the games we play, and the tears we shed. I barely knew this man, yet my heart was changed because of him. He made life joyful for so many, especially in times of heartache or struggle. His joy was rich and deep, and was truly from the LORD. I do not know, I can not comprehend why God would take Dan now. Why now, when it was clear so much life lay before him? I have thought about this so much the last three weeks. In my tears, I have cried out to God, questioning his decision. I have yelled at my Lord, wondering why on earth would He remove Dan now. And I am exhausted. I am tired from being angry. I am tired of yelling at God. I do not know why Dan is gone, and maybe I never will, but I now he is loving where he is right now. I can picture Dan in heaven, dancing around the golden streets(if there are golden streets), singing praises to God and hugging everyone in sight. I see Dan playing his silly eye tag games with St. Augustine, or his finger circle game with Martin Luther King Jr. I imagine Dan sneaking up behind St. Peter, burping as loud as he can in his ear, yelling Schultz, and then smacking him across the head, the whole time laughing. And I can see Dan, aftere all these fun and games, sitting down with his Savior, just to talk. Jesus and Dan. A beautiful picture. It's how he lived his life here and it's how he will live his life forever.
Will I ever live a life with as much impact as Dan? I don't know. I can try. Try to measure my life against his, hoping beyond hope my days will be filled with as much purpose as Dan's. I know Dan lived his life on a mission and I want to as well. But I also know he didn't do it for his own glory. Dan's life was spent in communion with Christ, so anything he did, was done for Christ's glory. Jesus and Dan. It's how he lived his life. And it's how I want to live mine.